I’m continuing to post my thoughts for today. I think I finally found the ideal location to post my thoughts and more importantly to store them. I don’t need anything fancy. Who would have thought all I needed was just the terminal and a place to host static sites.
I’m sitting here in the hall, albeit air-con now, and comfortable and I’m typing this. I have just restored his iPad but seems like the Apple ID is not working again, for some strange reasons. It seems to always not work. Anyway, will wait for him to come back and reset it.
Feeling quite tired these days. No idea why. I decided to take the train back today. Usually I take the bus. Fell asleep in the train all the way till JE when I suddenly woke up and right on time as the train pulled into the Station. I thought I sleep quite early but yet it still seems not enough. Drinking chicken essence nowadays, perhaps that will help? Not sure.
I think I am kinda addicted to this way of blogging. Seems so fresh and so new, without any distraction or annoying interface elements which impedes the flow of writing.
Back to my life. Quite some things have happened. One is that his gall bladder was removed. It was such a harrowing experience. He was complaining of gastric pains in the middle of the night. He suddenly just sat up on the edge of the bed, clutching on his stomach. Brought him to the 24 hours clinic opposite the house and ran on the dumb bell at the clinic, seems like everyone inside is sleeping! And as usual, before we even get to see the doctor, the consultant charges were impressed onto us first. The doctor prescribed the normal gastric meds. Doesn’t seem to help much.
In the morning, went to the normal family doctor and they gave him an injection. Didn’t seem to help much, until we went to the covid clinic and he was immediately sent to the hospital.
Accompanied him to the A&E section and he was admitted to the observation clinic. I was scared. I was waiting at the main lobby. He kept updating but I was still super worried. There was a message from him saying that he doesn’t have the bed and he asked to be discharged and come back for observation. Initially I had mixed thoughts. I mean, what if it was urgent and I don’t know what to do. On the other hand, I am glad if he could come back and rest it off?
But the doctors decided to not allow him to go off and get him to be observation overnight. THankfully the next day early in the morning he was warded. And later part of the morning, he was allowed to be scheduled for surgery. He did went after the surgery. Left him to sleep after I visited him in the late evening after the surgery. It was the weekend, so I could have access to the wards.
And the next couple of days I visited him at the wards, I was just bloody glad that he is ok and he is well. Although there were some pain, which is to be expected, at least the emergency part was handled and the risk removed.
Through this experience, I just felt really helpless and scared. I wish I could do more. but there’s nothing much I can do except to wait and make sure he gets all the items he needs and most importantly, to make sure he didn’t felt alone. I don’t know if he felt scared but if it was me I would be scared shitless. I would wish there is someone there to see me through it.
I hope I did my part.
But overall, I think it kinda took a toll on me. Mentally I guess. I haven’t been going to the gym also, why? Because there was lunch provided and i feel so damn tired after lunch. I guess the PT was the reason I was still going in the first place. And the motivations that were there previously to go to the gym, I think I re-priortize them. It doesn’t seem important to me anymore after this harrowing experience like I said. Now I know what actually is the more important part. Don’t want to waste unnecessary time and give unnecessary attention to things that don’t justify that kind of attention. Fleeting.
If you ask me how I am feeling right about now, I can tell you - it is like I’m in a dream. It just doesn’t seem real. Things that I wanted is coming true for me. Like the electone. Like the air con hall. Like the blogging ability which I am doing right now. Like the life I am havig although not perfect, but it is good enough. Like the environment. Like the work. Like the people I’m around. It just seems all unreal. I am grateful for everyday. This is what dreams for me are made of.
I used to envy that pereson who had the electone at parc oasis. I still remmeber grabbing my disk and running to his house to just play on the electone. and I had to be silent and I had to be fast because he was worried someone was playing on his electone. fuck. Yes I know I could not afford it at that time. Fine. But I waited. Waited for many years. 20 years to be exact. And here I am. my very own electone right in front of me which I can play it anytime. I couldn’t even remember what was his name.
Does it matter?
I hope I can continue to write like this for a long long time to come. Without database. That’s a drag. I should have done this way way way long ago. Perhaps previously wasn’t the correct time to do it because the notebook was always getting too warm and it makes it uncomfortable to type on. This M1 is a godsend! quiet and fanless and cool ! Love it !
I just wish my thumb will heal soon. I want to get new equipment. I think the ball that I have is just now cutting it. On certain days yes. But other days it just skids too much and there is no dry part for it to bite on.
I’m sleepy.
I miss my Bose Acoustimass system. That was the first real system my dad bought for me. I was so excited that it was in the box when it was delivered to Bishan during our rental flat times. And I was so happy when I opened the box and set it up in the current house, then new room. It was beautiful to me. It was mind blowing to me at that time with the sound!
It was a Bose Lifestyle 25 system.
Ah those were the days.